be concise!
do not use several words when one will do. writers tend to add phrases like "take into consideration" in order to sound scholarly. this only makes the text sound inflated and sophomoric. don't use excessive and unnecessary verbiage.
wordy: i am of the opinion that the said managers should be admonished for their utilization of customer response services.
concise: we should tell the managers to improve customer service.
wordy: this internet company is not prepared to expand at this point in time.
concise: the internet company is not prepared to expand now.
wordy: in light of the fact that roger has worked with much effort and diligence to build this site, it would be a smart move to give him the contract.
concise: since roger has worked for this site so carefully, we should award him the contract.
wordy: the airline has a problem with always having arrivals that come at least an hour late, despite the fact that the leaders of the airline promise that promptness is a goal which has a high priority for all the employees involved.
concise: flights are always at least an hour late on this airline, though its leaders promise that promptness is a high priority for all its employees.
wordy: in spite of the fact that she only has a little bit of experience in photography right now, she will probably do well in the future because she has a great deal of motivation to succeed in her chosen profession.
concise: although she is inexperienced in photography, she will probably succeed because she is motivated.
wordy: the united states is not in a position to spend more money to alleviate the suffering of the people of other countries considering the problems of its own citizens.
concise: the united states cannot spend more money to alleviate other countries' suffering when its own citizens suffer.
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